Altima Online

Reader submitted. Extreme thanks!

"God damn, dear. I seem to have blown our entire nest egg on a Nissan Altima!"

"Dahling, how will we evah survive a 6 year lease?"

"For starters, no more birth control for either of us. I'll cut back on Barely 18 porn and you'll have to stop servicing the milkman for free. And we'll start sneaking Tupperware into the Royal Fork Buffet!"

"Now I know why I married you. You're a thinkin' man! I love you, Zeke!"

"Ditto, sis! Now help me park this overpriced dick on wheels so that I look like a douche bag to everyone around me."

Seriously, what the hell is this pube salad doing? You've violated the parking space next to you, thereby making it unusable by anyone except motorcycles and Gumby and Pokey. And you also park halfway down the spot itself? What the fuck?

Now, maybe these are over sized stalls and the nose of your Altima ISN'T poking out the front like a school boy's erection. But cripes! Are you unloading Malaysian hookers with low self esteem from your trunk? Why such a gap?

Either way, smarten the hell up and Learn To Park, Jerk!