Friday, April 30, 2010

Pussy Parker

How many trucks have we seen parked poorly over the past couple of years? Way too many! And here's another cunt weed who thinks it's alright to monopolize TWO stalls with his Hillbilly limousine. And at such a blatant angle, he's obviously not wanting anyone to park next to him.

Um...excuse me...Mr. Dick Stub? You're driving a GODDAMN TRUCK! A big, burly Ford F150! Not some bitch Pinto or a homosexual SMART car. A TRUCK! Are you THAT big of a pussy that you're afraid of what might happen to it? Do you just use it to transport fat bitches to Tony Roma's on All You Can Eat Rib Night or what?

Grow a pair, stop wearing panties and fucking Learn To Park, Jerk!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Retarded Park Ranger

Reader submitted. Thanks for doing what others only dream of doing: nailing a parking lot a-hole to the wall!

Gawd DAMN! Albertans love their trucks and that's a fact! Another fact is that with their overpriced gas guzzling shit kicker vehicle comes a free lobotomy. The evidence is shown in this ass cowboy's park job.

Parking ON the line AND cutting into a handicap parking zone to boot? Wow! What a C-U-Next-Tuesday!

No doubt, he was tired after having underage school boys perform fellatio on him for hours on end, only to realize he lost his dick years ago when his old 'hawse' bit it off during his very own Brokeback Mountain camping trip.

Sir, kindly shove a jagged tin can up your ass and develop a spastic sphincter!

And Learn To Park, Jerk!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Austinker Truck Driver

Reader submitted! Way to bring another first to Learn To Park, Jerk! Video! Brilliant!

Go Big Or Go Home! That's what our Texan friends say ALL THE TIME! Well, I guess that goes for being the biggest asshole parker of all time!

Who blocks someone's driveway with their vehicle? A cock savoring fucknut, that's who! Typical redneck truck driving behavior so I'm really not surprised. But thanks for the easily recognizable vanity plate! PAPA MK? That should make the lives of all vengeful Austin parking Nazi's find you and exact justice the only way they know how! With their cameras!

And maybe a shotgun or two. Not that I endorse violence. I just happen to know far too many gun toting Texans.

On behalf of this poor driveway's owner: go fuck yourself with a rusty iron pole. I'm sure your red headed step child could use the break from servicing your size 9 poop chute! Asshole!

Learn To Park, Jerk!