Friday, June 25, 2010


Viewer submitted WITH an explanation. Since this makes MY job that much easier, I'll just copy and paste it down below in the same italics as this. Being a lazy prick has never been easier!

"This asshole parks at our office and was there all day, might I mention our parking lot is quite full and so there are no extra spaces unless you want to go park in the paved lot way out back.

I left one of these on his windshield."

While we don't encourage vandalism on this site, we also aren't your Daddy. Do whatever the fuck you want.

As for this dipshit of a parker, he obviously backed into the spot. It's surprising how bad his aim is since he seems like the kind of guy who backs onto men's cocks on a regular basis. I guess if his sphincter isn't at risk, the motivation just isn't there.

So either install an asshole on the back of your car (should be easy since an asshole is DRIVING the damn thing) or Learn To Park, Jerk!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Drive Your Chevy To The Levy...

...and park like a retard over there instead of here, you retarded fuck muffin!

Any clue what those yellow lines are? They aren't the same as the one in your underwear, Skid Mark. These are to position your vehicle between properly so others may park around you.

A shame you feel the rules don't apply to you, or the rules of proper personal hygiene.

Learn To Wipe Your Ass ANNNNND Learn To Park, Jerk!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Oh, What A Feeling!

Oh yeah! It must feel REAL good parking half assed like this; ruining two parking spot with your cross eyed parking skills. You probably also get your jollies from kicking puppies down a football field and from finger banging unconscious senior citizens in the anus.

You're a disease and this website is the cure.

Well, maybe not the cure. More like a different disease fighting for territory. Like an epic battle between herpes and Hepatitis C. Both of which are better than you.

Learn To Park, Jerk!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

This Ain't Your Daddy's Parking Job...Oh Wait...

What happens when Grandpa shotguns a liter of prune juice to wash down half a dozen bran muffins for breakfast? He comes within a millimeter of shitting his pants in his car. So can we blame him for abandoning his Coot Cruiser so poorly as he dashes for the nearest bathroom?

You bet we can!

Kiegel your sphincter. Ease up on the colon blasting diet. And Learn To Park, Jerk!